Monday, 8 January 2018

Relationship Advices 101


Alright before I begin, a little disclaimer guys my love life is not all sunshine and rainbows, we have our ups and downs too, our good days and bad days. But sometimes arguments and disagreements are totally fine, as it is a stepping stone for you guys to strengthen the relationship and develop a deeper  understanding between one another.

Now, putting all the cliché talk aside, let's begin this painfully honest but much needed advice shall we. So let's say it has been 3 month since you guys got together, many say that the first three months of every relationship is the "honeymoon period" and as time passed the feelings starts to fade. He starts late replying, 5 to 10 minutes replies turns to 1 to 2 hour responds. Sometimes he doesn't even respond until he's done with whatever he's doing. He used to send you cute messages every night and day, but now, even a good morning text is rare. You guys used to have a lot to talk about on the phone, but now your phone call is either full of awkward silences or he doesn't even call that often. He starts to prioritise his friends over you, his phone is never out of reach, and it's hard for you to hold a full conversation with him.

As a girl, we tend to overthink a lot during this period of time, especially when you have a lot of time in your hands and you're on your period, overthinking is unavoidable. We'll start to wonder "Does he still love me?", "Do I still matter to him?". Our thoughts will be full of him and in order to get him off our mind, we try to keep ourselves busy by watching k-dramas or apply face masks, thinking that it's a way to "pamper" ourselves, but when a notification pops us, we would still check it or glance over. When distracting ourselves doesn't work what do we resort to? Usually we will be very moody and everything we says seems like we're trying to pick a fight. As a guy in this scenario what should you do? I'm not telling you to reply every few seconds, because I get it, guys have a life too, you guys have friends to meet and work to do but sometimes, a word or reassurance is much needed. Before you head to work or hang with your friends, let your girl know beforehand and if she starts to throw a fit asking if you still love her or not, just reassure her and tell her how much you love her. Never and I repeat NEVER allow her to sleep on a cold shoulder, no matter how bad the fight is, always apologise even when it's not your fault because sometimes all she needs is your reassurance and to know that you still love her as much as she loves you. 

Honestly, a long-term relationship is not that hard to maintain if both parties are committed and will do ANYTHING to sustain it. Honesty is another major factor in keeping a relationship going, never lie to your partner, no matter how big or small the lie is, it is best to be 100% honest with your partner, because if she cannot trust you who can she trust? Of course a little white lie here and there wouldn't hurt. By that I mean when she ask if she looks fat in that dress she loves so much, just say no. But jokes aside, never keep secrets from your partner, if you're going out with a bunch of friends and there are girls there, just say so, she wouldn't come and hunt you down because of it. However, if you lie to her that is not guaranteed. Trust me guys, even if you hide it from her she would find out eventually (we girls have the stalking skills of a CIA) so why not save yourself the drama and just be straight up with her. 

Last but not least, make time for one another. It's not that difficult to plan a cute movie date or a nice dinner sometimes. It doesn't need to be anything too fancy, just the idea of taking some time out of your busy schedule to spend time with her is more than enough. Don't talk about buying gifts or planning surprises for her when you can't even fulfil the most basic role of a boyfriend, which is spending more time with her. Take not that this applies to both guys and girls, and I am just referring to the girls' perspective as it is easier for me to put myself in their shoes. I am in no way trying to be sexist here so don't come and hunt me down HAHA.